Third Week

You have to start over. That's what they say. But life is not a board game, and losing a loved one is never really "starting over." More like "continuing without."

~ Mitch Albom, The First Phone Call from Heaven

Never starting over. Not even accepting and letting go and moving on. It's more like shuffling the stages of grief over and over, and each time you thought you've finally come into acceptance, you get dragged back to square one. 

Over and over and over. 

Until you lose it. Until you've lost it and you don't know which way to go, what step to take, or if you really even wanna make a move. Sometimes, even 'continuing without' takes a really long time. For now, that's three weeks off the drain. Tomorrow it's three years. The next thing you know, it's been a decade and you're still in denial. Or anger. Probably bargaining. But then you get stuck in depression. And you never reach acceptance.

But I hope it eventually comes. Naturally. And you could smile lightheartedly again. And even with the missing pieces, you'll feel whole again.