I am that. But that, too, can change.

I am, with no doubt, loved unconditionally.

But I have the tendency to lock myself up in a box filled with no air, kept away from all the rest. I am filled with doubt. I push people away.

I look everywhere for happiness; unable to see that every little thing can be that happiness I've so longed for. I search for happiness, and when it's right there in front of me, I shut my eyes and distance myself. I get scared. I am scared.

And yes, I am unhappy. Finally, I admitted that. I said it out loud, over and over and over again. And I don't know how to feel after that.

Now, I am trapped. I am unable to move. But I will see more, even feel more now. I owe it to myself. I owe it to the ones who love me.

Last night, I dreamt of all of the people I care about. A dream so vivid that for the first time I woke up and told myself I have to love myself more. And I will.


P.S.
Happy Love Day!

P.P.S.
Pardon this depressing post.