Instability

Difficult it is to smile the day away, when you've got all the reasons to just break down and cry, or shout at the top of your lungs to let all those worries, those anger away.

But no, you're keeping it all to yourself. Your insides are battling with each other. Your thoughts, your emotions, they're all mixed up now. And then no matter how you try to hide them, no matter how you try to mask what's in there, they show up. One way or the other. You know you're unstable. You know you're beyond hope, but still, you're hoping. You're trying all sorts of things to just hang in there, no matter how loosely, no matter how weak that branch you're clinging to is, no matter how deep that cliff you're going to fall to is. No. You're holding on. Because one too long thought of not holding on would get you drowned. Drowned in that ocean of tears. Unable to fight that current. And then, unable to get back on land again. And by that time, you know, you just have to give up on hope.

But right now, right this moment, NO. You have to hold on.