Here Goes Nothing
There are those days when you've got so much in mind that everything else can't catch up with your thoughts. You want to write it all down to let it out of your system, but you end up staring at a blank page, unable to put them into words. Nothing's in sync. The heart does not even know what to feel anymore.
I am in that state. I can't do anything without my mind suddenly going blank. I try to read; I finish a page without really knowing what happened. I've been having this blank draft for days now, and I figured I should at least try filling it up with whatever I come up with.
But seriously, there's nothing there. Sleepless nights, dreamy nap times, boring work days. Routine, that's what it all is. And probably that's keeping me as sane as possible. I can't handle any more major changes, I can't handle any more stress.
My therapy? A walk home every night. My thoughts bother me so much, and that half hour of walking makes me feel alive and at peace with what's around me, and very rarely with what's inside. It's far from enough, though.
I'd love to have a picnic by the beach some time soon. Have some quiet time with the last of the summer heat and the lovely blues and greens. Or a bicycle ride - get lost and get all cramped up with pedaling. Something to get me out of my routine and give me some time to think. And probably release all this tension that's been lingering for far too long now.
Life. It gets in the way of living. But maybe that's how it should be.
I am in that state. I can't do anything without my mind suddenly going blank. I try to read; I finish a page without really knowing what happened. I've been having this blank draft for days now, and I figured I should at least try filling it up with whatever I come up with.
But seriously, there's nothing there. Sleepless nights, dreamy nap times, boring work days. Routine, that's what it all is. And probably that's keeping me as sane as possible. I can't handle any more major changes, I can't handle any more stress.
My therapy? A walk home every night. My thoughts bother me so much, and that half hour of walking makes me feel alive and at peace with what's around me, and very rarely with what's inside. It's far from enough, though.
I'd love to have a picnic by the beach some time soon. Have some quiet time with the last of the summer heat and the lovely blues and greens. Or a bicycle ride - get lost and get all cramped up with pedaling. Something to get me out of my routine and give me some time to think. And probably release all this tension that's been lingering for far too long now.
Life. It gets in the way of living. But maybe that's how it should be.
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