Plans and Decisions and Letting Go

It's the last day of the month, and I am still a bit too useless, unable to make money. It is not that I cannot, but I chose not to -- yet. There are these decisions and plans that would take quite a while to realize. So right now, my life is still at a pause. 

It's a Sunday. With this gloomy weather, I can just lounge in bed forever. And I shall. It's an eat-read-sleep day for me today. So here I am killing my head with a book (Percy Jackson series, which I should blog about some other time), straining my eyes so I could just visit dreamland any minute now. 

And, by the way, it's the fourth day of the novena for my father's 40days since he passed away. So that means it's been more than a month since he left this world, and most of us still cannot believe it, or accept it. Letting go is too hard. It's one of the things I suck at. There's that moment when you think you've already accepted it, but then when you really think about it, you cannot deny that you haven't. Not even a bit. I think it's even harder to let go because of all the questions still left unanswered. It's harder to move on when you're used to him not being at home, so you could just let your mind and heart think and feel that he's just out there, working, and he just couldn't come home yet. 

But no. He would not be able to come home anymore. So how do we move on?

On another note, the month is about to end. August is here and along with it comes a whole lot of changes in my life. I hope all the plans and decisions I have made would turn out okay. I hope and I pray all these would work out for me...

So goodbye, July. Hello, August! :)